Self-compassion

When patients are asked whether they understand their need for self-compassion, it turns out that many are unfamiliar with the subject. I've already received responses like "I'm great at feeling sorry for myself...". So, this is not what the poet meant, it's not about self-pity, but rather a therapeutic tool that has its place as a way of life.

In recent years, studies and impressive evidence have accumulated regarding the use of self-compassion as a therapeutic tool. Self-compassion serves as a powerful tool for dealing with attention deficit disorder and reducing the symptoms of the disorder. When we are aware of the problem and understand its components and their interrelationships, we also understand the nature of the problem. What creates it, when it will surface, what it will be affected by, and how it can be avoided or its impact reduced.

Think of it this way: when you know someone really well, you'll know better how to approach them in different situations, how to comfort or encourage them when they're sad, how to motivate them when they're fearful or lacking confidence, and how to praise them to make them happy or boost their morale.

Knowing and recognizing what self-compassion is and incorporating it into our lives is an excellent way to get to know ourselves and how we are affected by daily experiences.

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is a way to deal with challenges or difficulties we experience. Especially those that lower our confidence, make us angry at ourselves, and sometimes even make us sad. It allows us to be more objective and accordingly to respond more correctly and in a more balanced manner.

Self-compassion is an important tool for understanding ourselves and overcoming self-criticism. Simply put, self-compassion is the opposite of judgment and self-criticism.

Attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder create various challenges throughout life. It affects us at home with the family, at work or in studies, and in general in our behavior in the world. No matter where and why, when attention deficit disorder raises its head and causes us to fail, it creates inner unrest. This inner unrest will be the inner voice that speaks to us, intended to cast doubt in our hearts, weaken our will, and stop us from improving and developing. We are not always aware of this, and sometimes even unconsciously, we are affected by it and act defensively or avoid it. In other cases, we may be hasty and react in a less fitting or appropriate way to the situation.

Our ability to cope with difficulties and to better deal with failures is closely related to that inner unrest and will be inversely proportional to the strength of the inner voice that unrest produces.

That inner voice exists in everyone to some extent, but when there is no attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder in the background, it is much easier to divert the voice from our path and ignore it. On the other hand, with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, it becomes a challenging task.

How do we develop self-compassion?

Just like a habit! We need to develop and encourage the forgiving and praising inner voice, the one that silences the voice that creates the unrest. Sometimes this will be simple, and other times it will be an internal dialogue, but the more persistent we are, the more room there will be for the positive voice. Sometimes preparation work will be required, we will need to examine when we most need self-compassion and when we would want it to have a place in our lives. Indeed, internal reflection is required, which does not always come easily, but it is worth activating the mechanism of self-compassion.

Even when something doesn't work out for us, self-compassion will be the force that drives us to try again, the force that allows us to examine what happened with more objective eyes.

What actual actions should we take?

Daily reminder – set a time in your diary that you know in advance you will not be busy or in the middle of an activity. Allocate for this - 5 or -10 minutes of pure thought of self-compassion, and if you want, meditation dedicated to this.

Daily or weekly summary and recording – an insights diary sometimes gives us a "supervised and clearer look".

Think about what you would say to a friend – sometimes it's easier for us to be objective towards others and more judgmental towards ourselves. When we put ourselves in someone else's shoes, we allow ourselves to be open to more balanced and less judgmental thinking.

The desire for change – to understand that it's possible to improve and that it's within reach. Think about how you would like to see yourself in a month, in several months, and even in a year. To initiate a process, it's advisable to be directed towards it.

Not to fear failure – because you don't fail at this! Keep trying and improving and understand that it doesn't become easier, you just improve.

These are just tools that can help develop self-compassion, you may find a better way for you, so don't hesitate to try.

Important to remember!

Self-compassion does not automatically grant us the right to make mistakes or to avoid taking responsibility. The goal is not to feel comfortable with mistakes or failures but to learn the right insights from them with minimum "background noise".